Recently I qualified as a life coach.
As I headed towards the end of the six month course, I was a little nervous.
How would I manage without the structure of the course? Can I maintain the momentum I’ve built? What if I just stop and all this effort is for nothing?
It’s pretty normal when things are shifting to feel apprehensive.
The newness. The change. The uncertainty of what’s next.
It naturally triggers thoughts, feelings, emotions as we try to KNOW what’s coming. Which is basically impossible.
But it got me thinking about transitions.
Starting new jobs. Leaving relationships. Moving house. Emerging from lockdown.
Even the change of session. How we go from the hibernation of winter to the socialness of summer.
Life is ever changing. So how do we support ourselves through it all?
Remember Who You Are
How very The Lion King of me!
But Mufasa in his kingly wisdom is right. When it all feels too new and weird, you need to remember who you are.
You landed the job because you bring an incredible set of skills and experience to the role.
You left the relationship because you know you don’t want to settle for someone that you have to convince yourself to stay with everyday.
Your friends are beyond excited to see you after lockdown because you’re a rad human being.
Learn to give yourself the positive pep talk. The encouragement. Be your own cheerleader as cliched as it sounds.
Then whenever you feel that doubt creep in, you are right there for yourself. You don’t need to rely on anyone else to pick you up because you can.
Reminding yourself that you’ve done this before and you can do it again. That you’re deeply supported. That things are always working out in your favour. You CAN do this!
Maintain Your Habits
Speaking of things you can do, keep up your habits.
Go to the gym. Keep that regular coffee date. Spend time reading.
Whatever you normally do to support yourself, to feel good, to feel energised. Keep doing those things.
You know that feeling when you start a new job and at the end of the day you’re completely shattered from all of the new information? Change can be tiring.
It takes so much brain power to process all of the newness.
So it’s tempting to skip the routines. Not bother with the walk. Order takeaways.
Which actually creates more change. More decisions to be made. More uncertainty. Which takes more energy.
Sticking to your habits gives you some solid ground to stand on.
It gives your brain a sense of control. And there’s comfort there.
In saying that, rigidly sticking to your routines when you reaaaaaaally don’t have the capacity to do so isn’t doing yourself any favours either.
You still need to be kind to yourself and be realistic about what feels possible.
Maybe it’s switching your HIIT workout for a walk around the block. Or maybe it’s going, you know what, right now working out doesn’t matter. If I manage it, then great but if I don’t then who cares.
It’s worth remembering that your momentum isn’t that fragile. That if you miss a couple of weeks, you’ll build it back pretty quickly once you get back into the swing of things.
So figure out what you need to keep doing to feel that security through the change. And be ok with letting the rest go for a little bit as you settle into your new reality.
Keep An Eye On Your Expectations
When I bought my house, I wanted to clear out my possessions. Nothing was making it into my new place that I didn’t love.
Which just added a bunch of tasks to my list on top of finding tradies and working and becoming a life coach.
Turns out I still have the bag of clothes for donating sitting in my car.
So watch out for those pesky expectations that add complication and stress.
The new job being the perfect opportunity for a brand new morning routine.
The new house being the clean slate to start eating healthier.
Yes, change can be a great time to start new habits. And I’m all for being super intentional. Who do I want to be in this job, house, relationship?
AND if you find yourself feeling super stressed and overwhelmed then think about this:
Where am I adding extra expectations here?
Then simplify. Focus on making it easy.
It’s remembering that something pretty big is already happening. You don’t get extra points for making it even harder for yourself.
Change is inevitable
And so is feeling emotional about it.
Our safe space is what we know, what is familiar. Transitions mean shifting out of that zone so we’re always going to feel a way about that.
Excited. Scared. Nervous. Apprehensive. Calm. All of the above.
Taking a moment to acknowledge how you’re feeling and recognise that it’s ok is the best place to start.
From there you can:
- Remind yourself why you’re here
- Pick habits to maintain a sense of continuity
- Focus on keeping it simple
Those are the ways you can support yourself through the ups and downs of life.
Periods of transitions can be a great time to have the support of a coach. If that might be you, check out my coaching page to learn more about how I could help.