Maven Matters

Maven Matters: On Being the Friend You Want to Have

We’ve all heard you get back what you put out in the world right?

Have you ever thought about that in the context of friendship? The kind of friend you are might be the biggest indicator of the kind of friends you have.

I’ll be the first to admit to wishing my friends included me in something fun they did. Or craving some expression of thoughtfulness like a handwritten note or text remembering a new job.

Somewhere along the way, I wondered what kind of friend am I? Do I do the things I want my friends to do to me? What do I put out there?

Am I being the friend I want to have?

I want to be included so I opened up invited, getting my diverse bunch of friends to meet. This doesn’t come naturally to me, I gravitate to one on one. But when I do get my friends together, I’m always pleasantly surprised how well everyone gets along, and how much fun I have.

I want to go on adventures and make memories. So when opportunities pop up, I message some people and make it happen.

I messaged a friend the first day of a new job and she was blown away I’d remembered. Such a small gesture had the impact of deepening our relatively new friendship.

Next time you feel something missing from your friendships, put it out there. Start the positive cycle.

My friends haven’t changed but my friendships have.

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