As I keep telling myself, the only person I’m letting down is me. No one else cares. No one else is interested in this journey. Just me. And I have been letting myself down by slacking on these commitments. Commitments to me. No one else. The only consequences are for me only. I’m the one that doesn’t fulfil my vision. Achieve my goals. FEEL the way I want to feel. Show up fully, completely in my own life on my terms. I make these commitments for very good reasons. That are still valid. On reflection, I still want to honour these commitments. And by doing so, honour myself.
The above is an excerpt from my reflective journaling. Giving myself the proverbial kick in the pants. To outsiders it probably looked like I was still smashing, but I knew I was letting things slip. Edging towards bad habits. I have to go all in, moderation doesn’t work for me.
My current, conscious commitments are below. There are others. Some unspoken. Some unconscious. Things I’ve committed to for so long it’s standard operating procedure now. Others are lower priority. But these ones, they’re the ones that are relevant, top of the list, deliberate. When the above reflective flowed from my pen, these are the commitments I was reaffirming.
- to step into my power and live big
- to quit sugar and find a vibrant way of eating that gives me energy and support the life I want to live
- to hit the yoga mat three times a week to ground and to grow
- to run weekly because I love the sense of accomplishment and the mental freedom
- to show up and be curious. Try new things.
- never stop learning. The day I stop learning is the day I die.
- make the most of living in London, everything this vibrant city has to offer and all of the incredible locations only a short flight away
Here’s me, giving myself a hard look in the mirror. Being honest with myself. Recommitting.
And dam it feels good.