Who I’m Envious Of

It’s probably not kosher to admit this (or use the word kosher for that matter) but there are people I’m envious of. Non ambitious types. Type Bs. Happy go lucky. You know, the go with the flow types. Not overly burdened with burning desire.

I admire their lack of worry. The reduced stress from reduced striving. Being able to set off on adventure without running a myriad of what if scenarios. A firm belief everything will be fine so away we go. No need for a plan. It all seems so liberating. 

Sometimes I look at them, and their comfortable middle of the road existence, and I get jealous. How freeing it must be. Not encumbered with so much thought. So much striving. So much to do. Just have fun. 

So I get to thinking. What if I let it all go? What if I don’t worry about what I eat, the quality of what I read outraging to get better at my job? What if I submit to mediocre? Accept that my lot is for a small, unremarkable life. And just be.

Sorry.

No can do. Just thinking about it makes me restless. I am simply not programmed that way and denying myself would make me more miserable than any Type A related stress ever could. It might take more work but the rewards are bigger. And somewhere in the striving is where my happiness lies. 

So I’m not jealous after all. Glad we cleared that up. 

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