Candid: Happy Birthday to Me

Yep, today’s my birthday! Naturally that brings with it many reflective thoughts. My 26th year has been my craziest yet. I’ve experienced more, cried more, laughed more, taken more leaps of faith and grown more than any other year. It has been insane, rewarding, ugly, confronting and most loved filled year. And being my birthday I’m thinking about it all.

But in exactly a month, there’s another big cause for reflection, the New Year. And I’ve never thought about how to make the most of having two triggers for examining my own life so close together. So this year I’m experimenting.

For my birthday I’m looking back. Reflecting on the past year. Digging into everything that’s come up. I’m bound to face a few more ghosts, clear out a few more skeletons that aren’t serving me. I’m thinking about where I’ve come from and why I’ve ended up where I am now. I intend to sit with that backwards perspective for a couple of weeks. Deep dive. Really get to grips with what has come up in the past twelve months. 

For the New Year, I’m looking forward. Letting everything I’ve learnt, done, thought and felt in the past year and beyond inform what’s next. How do I want to feel? What goals do I have? What’s the plan there? 2017 is set to be a big and crazy year and I want to be control of where the ride takes me. I want to be intentional. 

I feel separating out looking back and looking forward will add clarity. It’s so easy to get carried with the fun, future looking planning. The day dreaming. The what if scenarios. Building castles in the air is way more enjoyable than digging around in the less pleasant recesses of your mind. But the digging around is needed to inform the next step. I, and you, need to know what you’re stepping on. Is it solid ground or into the unknown? Maybe a little shaky? This isn’t about right or wrong. I’m all for testing the limits of shaky and unknown, I did move to the other side of the world after all. It’s about being conscious in those choices and understanding what you’re trying to achieve. Which is sometimes, I want to see what happens when (fill in the blank).

My reflection journey for the start of my 27th year is just beginning. I already know it’s going to be good one.